Blog #13 Stop Living In The Past, It's Time To Look Toward The Future

The past you won’t let me forget,

The feelings that I still regret.

I’ve realized that I’m hurting you,

Your heart was small,

But open too.

If I crushed and tore you without a pause,

I’m sorry, but I’ve got the sharpest of claws.

The past is gone,

And life goes on,

But from my heart,

You were never drawn.

-Alessandra Antonia Angelini

Why do people spend so much of their time thinking about the past? It seems stupid to me; what’s the point of having a future if the whole time you’re reflecting on the past? Some people take out the good in their life and replace it with bad memories and things that they regret. Granted, I have things I regret as well. Of course I have memories and thoughts from the past that I wish I could turn around and recreate. Of course that isn’t possible, so I might as well be excited for what’s to come. In my experience, I’ve been the girl that can’t make up her mind. I never knew what I wanted from life until the options suddenly disappeared, and my answers were forced at me. I deserved what I got, but the person who was affected did not. I know it’s bad to have regrets, but I’ve got them. When I think about what I regret and how I wish I could make the past better, I suddenly realize that if not for the past I wouldn’t have such a strong future. I hurt someone, and now that they are back in my life, I’m stronger than ever. Hopefully, that person would agree.

In my opinion, living in the past is the most awful thing you can do to yourself. Ultimately, in my experience, it’s made people forget how to trust. Sometimes the past is a good thing to reflect on, but then there are those awful moments when you suddenly remember how you felt at that time and you get that sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach. You suddenly remember all of the things you wish didn’t happen, and you find yourself wondering how the other affected person must’ve felt. For me, I think I basically destroyed someone. Not to go into too much detail, but to this day, the past has been haunting me and I can’t seem to forget it. No matter how much I try to think of the good things that came out of my past, it’s hard to forget the bad. In the moments I feel I’m on the brink of completely exploding and having to pour out all of my feelings, I remember that at this very moment…I couldn’t be happier.

If I were to give any advice in the world, which would require scanning through tons and tons of advice gathered and created in my mind from the day I was born, I’d say that in order to live your life to the fullest, you have to learn from your past. I learned that happiness is something you have to work for, and cannot be gained by the sympathy of others. It’s important to remember what you have, because if you ever think you don’t need it anymore, you might end up realizing that you still need it and always will.

 “If you love someone, you will let them go. If they come back, they were always yours, if they don’t they never were.”