Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Blog #14 People Who Know Me, People Who Think They Know Me, and People Who Don't.


When people know you they don’t judge or assume the worst, they don’t break you down instead of build you up, and they always try to understand you even when the understandable is out of reach. My feelings are often discontinued from my brain and are sprayed directly into my heart. My brain doesn’t do the thinking for me because my heart has always been the director. There are plenty of people in my life who’ve always understood me without even trying, and they’ve never tried to see the worst in me because they know that underneath my strong wall is that fragile place inside me where one hit could make me shatter. Not many people have seen beyond the wall I’ve built around myself, but those who have, have either embraced it or left it.
One person in particular has always seen the good in me, and never once has tried to break me apart. He knows who he is, but for his sake I won’t mention names. We’ve been through a lot together and even at the hardest of times, when I was at my most frustrating and vulnerable, he gave me second chances and always let me know he cared. I have a fickle heart that twists and turns and ceases to ever make decisions. My indecisive behavior has to bother him, even if he doesn’t say it. I think a lot about things, sometimes it’s easiest for me to just sit and watch others, instead of being in the spotlight. I find it’s easier to take everything in and soak it up for later, instead of letting it all out. I know who I am, and I know that I can be poetic and artistic, and he knows that as well. The special thing about my relationship with this person is that without even trying he can see right through me. The general idea of someone who knows you, is someone who can take it all in and then know exactly what to say next. Well, that’s another that separates him from everyone else. Most people like to hold in their feelings, but he and I have found trust in each other that allows us to say whatever we feel even if it could lead to the worst. He knows me, and wants to know me. It’s the best feeling in the world knowing that every morning I might see that one person who just happens to know me best without even trying.
Everyone has been in that position where picking who you want to be with, and who you should be with, are on two very different sides of your brain. For me, I’ve enjoyed plenty of fun combining the two sides even if it is, “playing with fire.” There’s one person who has always been a good friend to me, but it seems as if no matter how hard he tries, he can never seem to fully understand. I have pretty high expectations for friends, and the minute your below that expectation, it doesn’t take a lot of intelligence to realize where I’ve placed you. This person has done right by me, and even though we have some good times together I always find myself not really knowing where he stands in my life. I don’t trust him very much, even though anyone on the outside looking in would think differently. There are times when I find myself crossing the invisible line I’ve created for myself, and it always seems to end in disaster. No matter how much I try to convince myself that the next time with be different, I’m usually wrong. That’s the thing with people who think they know you. It not only affects how you think about them, but also how you think about yourself. They can change your mind about things and persuade you into doing what you don’t want. The one situation I keep getting mixed up in is when I’m just being moody and that person refuses to understand what’s going on. I’m a pretty up and down person, some might even call it minor bipolar, but most of my friends have got me figured out and handle my mood swings well. So why is it so hard to understand me for this one person, while everyone else has things figured out? If you’ve got a friend like this, and I’m sure you do, the best thing you can do is abandon them. It’s sounds harsh but it’s probably the best decision you will make. You’ll have less stress and overall you’ll be a much happier person.
Currently at my school, my eighth grade class is being falsely perceived as the grade with no leadership. I’ve been outraged since sixth grade, because since sixth grade we’ve been getting the same old talk. It’s a false accusation, and personally I’m offended. My teachers have always supported me in my decisions and have never judged or been disappointed in me, so why now is it so hard for them to stick up for us even though they know how much potential we have? I’m not the type of person who is willing to do just anything so that people can see me how they want to. I’m going to do exactly what I feel is right. If I had the opportunities that I wish I did, I would be more than happy to follow through with them. My one wish for my school is that the art program would become a whole lot better. It’s sad that I realized my passion for the visual arts in eighth grade, when I could’ve been a master by now if I had started learning a long time ago. I feel that if I wanted to create an art program with better art education, that no one would take me seriously. The poor view from teachers at my school is mostly coming from lower school. The lower school has not only, never met me, but they’ve never tried to meet me on a personal level. It’s saddening to hear that teachers are disappointed in my grades leadership skills because I know how much leadership there really is. Kids are different; they have different views, ways of learning, and ideas of what is fun and what is not. Whether or not it is the right thing to do or say, a kid of my creative level is not going to spend time doing the things that others expect of them (to a certain extent), but instead they are going to try to break from the status quo and do what makes them happy.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Blog #13 Stop Living In The Past, It's Time To Look Toward The Future

The past you won’t let me forget,
The feelings that I still regret.
I’ve realized that I’m hurting you,
Your heart was small,
But open too.
If I crushed and tore you without a pause,
I’m sorry, but I’ve got the sharpest of claws.
The past is gone,
And life goes on,
But from my heart,
You were never drawn.
-Alessandra Antonia Angelini

Why do people spend so much of their time thinking about the past? It seems stupid to me; what’s the point of having a future if the whole time you’re reflecting on the past? Some people take out the good in their life and replace it with bad memories and things that they regret. Granted, I have things I regret as well. Of course I have memories and thoughts from the past that I wish I could turn around and recreate. Of course that isn’t possible, so I might as well be excited for what’s to come. In my experience, I’ve been the girl that can’t make up her mind. I never knew what I wanted from life until the options suddenly disappeared, and my answers were forced at me. I deserved what I got, but the person who was affected did not. I know it’s bad to have regrets, but I’ve got them. When I think about what I regret and how I wish I could make the past better, I suddenly realize that if not for the past I wouldn’t have such a strong future. I hurt someone, and now that they are back in my life, I’m stronger than ever. Hopefully, that person would agree.


In my opinion, living in the past is the most awful thing you can do to yourself. Ultimately, in my experience, it’s made people forget how to trust. Sometimes the past is a good thing to reflect on, but then there are those awful moments when you suddenly remember how you felt at that time and you get that sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach. You suddenly remember all of the things you wish didn’t happen, and you find yourself wondering how the other affected person must’ve felt. For me, I think I basically destroyed someone. Not to go into too much detail, but to this day, the past has been haunting me and I can’t seem to forget it. No matter how much I try to think of the good things that came out of my past, it’s hard to forget the bad. In the moments I feel I’m on the brink of completely exploding and having to pour out all of my feelings, I remember that at this very moment…I couldn’t be happier.

If I were to give any advice in the world, which would require scanning through tons and tons of advice gathered and created in my mind from the day I was born, I’d say that in order to live your life to the fullest, you have to learn from your past. I learned that happiness is something you have to work for, and cannot be gained by the sympathy of others. It’s important to remember what you have, because if you ever think you don’t need it anymore, you might end up realizing that you still need it and always will.

 “If you love someone, you will let them go. If they come back, they were always yours, if they don’t they never were.”

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Blog #12 My Fashion "Two-Sense"


Individuality, for me, has come from various topics, people, and experience, but one of the main things that has driven me to become my own person, is fashion. In an article from, www.ehow.com , there is argument over peer pressure and making a social statement.  It is a short article, but it grasped me because I’ve always looked at fashion in a good, self-creating way, but this article forced me to look beyond that. The first thing this article pinpoints is how fashion can make a social statement. It goes into further detail of how a person can create their own identity based on the clothing they wear. The article also talks about the pros and cons of fashion, and how it is shaping society.

Identity and self-reflection is often a factor when putting together one of my outfits. The pros of fashion are that it gives me the opportunity to show who I am. I know that if someone were to ask me who else takes part in flaunting his or her style, I’d immediately answer, Lady GaGa. Though I am not a fan of Lady GaGa, I will admit that I admire her for her style and ability to see past what others might view her as. I’ve found it rather easy to put together outfits that reflect how I’m feeling or who I am in general. I think if I were to put my style into a category, I’d call it Boho Sheek. I know that “boho” and “sheek” are words that people make fun of a lot of the time, but in all honesty, that’s exactly the type of clothes I wear. I never really try too hard to impress people with my clothes, but at the same time I feel that I try and look classy and elegant too.

Above, I mentioned Lady GaGa and her impact on me because of her style. I had stated that I admired her for her ability to overlook other’s thoughts and do what she wanted instead. Celebrities are of great influence to me. Celebrities set fashion trends in the “Hollywood” world that teenagers like to copy with a hint of their own style. Without celebrities there would be a lack of a large majority of trendsetters. There are a lot of businesses created by celebrities showing their own personal style, and without those businesses, that style would not be shown.

There are many cons to fashion, but the ones of most importance to me in particular, are peer pressure and the rebellious acts brought out by fashion. In a teenager’s life there are many times of pressure, and the provoking thoughts brought to someone because of parents, classmates, and even teachers. Many kids like the sense of freedom and often instead of being admired for having a look to call their own, kids are ridiculed because of the outfits of their choice. These kids could feel stressed and humiliated to the point of even an extreme like suicide. Rebellion is an aspect of a child’s life turned to when they feel the need to break out of their comfort zone and attempt a new way of life. When what that child is doing becomes frowned upon, they could feel moved to do it more, furthermore causing issues. For example, if a certain type of family believes that it is more appropriate to wear uniforms to school as opposed to a different outfit every day, the child in that family might feel persuaded to break the rules and do what they choose.

It’s difficult for me to create a cons perspective on fashion. I’ve never looked at expressing myself through clothing as bad thing because I rely on my clothes to tell a story each and every day. Fashion is a way of self-expression and should be something people can use to their advantage. This has been the pros and cons of fashion, and now you know my fashion “two sense.”

            

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Blog #11 Who Will Be The Politician?


Growing up I always wanted to be something spectacular; to grow up and one day be someone that everybody knows, everybody loves, and a role model to those growing up to be the same. The jobs kids dream of being often range from astronaut, model, singer, rock-star, doctor, teacher, pilot, firefighter, police officer, all the way to superman, bat man, cat woman, captain America, and even wonder woman. But has anyone ever mentioned politics? Of course there’s been the idea of being President one day, but has anyone actually thought about what that might mean? 

            I have a lack of confidence in the youth of today when it comes to the topic of politics and what our country will be like based on the minds of this generation. The reason is because I, along with many other kids, have no desire or drive to run a country slowly crumbling into dust. I realize that things can be fixed, but who has the guts to fix them? I feel like kids today don’t believe a lot of the things that adults seem to be drawn to. Between my friends and I, we’ve come to a decision that fairness should be possible, but is almost virtually impossible. How could the world be fair if so many people refuse to be agreeable? The idea of agreeing on one thing as a world, and as a country, seems to the dim-minded an easy concept. But to those of us who realize what has been portrayed in other countries and places around the world and even in America, the idea is anything BUT an easy concept. So how can the President manage to make decisions that this United States can agree on? Or does he not? Does he really just do what the majority agrees on, although the rest think it is or isn’t best? Unfortunately I’ve come to the conclusion that the President must do what he and the rest of his political party believe is right, but when it comes down to it… is that really fair?


When I grow up… I want to be the editor in chief of Vogue Magazine. My passions are art, fashion, and writing, so that job seems absolutely perfect. But, if I’m doing my fabulous job as editor in chief of Vogue Magazine, then who will be the politician?

Monday, January 16, 2012

Blog #10 Stepping Behind The Camera


You know that single perfect moment where you feel special? Usually, it’s when the spotlight is directly on you, and every eye can’t bear to look away from you. For me, it’s that moment when my finger pushes down on the black button on my camera. It’s that moment when the picture comes out beautiful, and it’s like a piece of you has been saved into a card soon to be plastered all over my photo wall. My photo wall is a wall in my room where I tape all of my favorite pictures taken. I save them there so that whenever I feel upset or like every piece of me has been sucked out, I can look and see that I’ve got a whole lot more left to offer this world. That wall represents everything I am, and everything I hope to be. The spots filled with pictures are the areas where my eyes have traveled, and the areas which lack photographs represent the places my eyes are soon to travel.

            I don’t know why, but for some reason taking a picture, and being able to have a tiny piece of me  shown in that picture, is the thing that most makes me feel amazing. I always feel like I can do more with my life when I realize that my past has been further presented in the pictures from my past.

            My life behind the camera is dramatic, bold, and filled with passion. My life in front of the camera is shy, wandering, and overflowing with the longing to step behind the camera and press the button, in order to have that little piece of me splashed into my brain. I feel emerged in grace when I hear the click and that picture pops up onto the screen. Then when I step in front of the camera I’m taken back into a dark place where light ceases to exist. I have no idea who I am when the flash blinds my eyes, but when I see others blinded all of a sudden everything goes from blurry to clear.

            My eyesight has been dreadful almost my entire life. In class, often times I’m forced to embarrass myself and ask the teacher what he or she has just written on the board. It also isn’t the best of times when you go for your eye exam during Spanish class just to be humiliated because a group of guys has just realized your vision is at a lacking, 20/50. It hasn’t been too easy to look in front of the lens, but when I’m placed behind the lens and am able to look directly through it, free to zoom as I wish…I see better than I ever did. Life is better with a camera at my side because without it, I would unfortunately be unable to see anything.  

Blog #9 The Perception of Perfection


The perception of perfection is most often times when a person needs never to work for their looks or personality because it has been given to them naturally. To me, the idea of perfection is when a person can love who they are, what they represent, and how they treat others without question.  Perfection, more times than none, is about looks. If a person can wake up in the morning looking flawless and beautiful, or can just throw on any outfit and look amazing, well, I guess that’s perfection. But, if a person has to work for that flawless face and can’t just throw on any old outfit, then is that not perfection? I don’t believe that someone should work for hours on impressing people and looking flawless. I think people should be able to embrace who they are so that they can show off that “all natural” look that people strive to have.

            In my pictures I worked very hard to set up the worldly perception of perfection. On the left is the girl who owns a lot of makeup and doesn’t leave home without all of it packed on her face. Makeup is one of those things that girls feel like they need to wear, but a lot of times look better without. I, for one, wear makeup and personally, I feel prettier when I wear it. I’ve never viewed myself as a “flawless” and “perfect” person, but that doesn’t mean I think I’m not beautiful. I don’t want to sound immodest, but I believe that beauty can either be hidden or flaunted, and I chose to flaunt it. On the right is the girl who stresses over her looks and has yet to figure out what she’s going to wear to school. Why do people try so hard to impress people with their outfits? I mean yes, I go to school trying to look my best and to wear the outfits that make me feel pretty, but I still want to be comfortable! I REFUSE to wear anything I’m not comfortable in. But obviously, the girl in the picture is desperate to impress anyone, so she works for hours finding that perfect outfit when in the end she’s still unsatisfied with who she is. I know plenty of girls who think they aren’t pretty enough, or don’t have the personality to impress those around her, and I think it’s awful and unattractive! When a girl constantly complains about her looks and about what she doesn’t have, as opposed to what she does have, well let’s just say…that’s the girl on the right.

Perfection isn’t real. It doesn’t matter what people think about you, it matters what YOU think about you. If you let people push you around and make you feel like nothing, then you WILL feel like nothing. You have to be strong and keep your head high, because you are beautiful. People in the world view things different, people view perfection differently. It all depends on people’s perception of perfection.


Saturday, January 14, 2012

Blog #8 When The Innocence Fades...Where Does It Go?



            Recently for me, it’s been a game of, “what if?” because I’m yet to discover so many things. Being in eighth grade I’m only inches away from entering a completely new school and having to make many new friends without leaving others behind. It’s a scary experience that has concealed me into being a child again in order to keep myself from letting go of who I used to be years ago. My cousin currently is at my house along with the rest of my family, and she has successfully shown me exactly what it’s like to be a kid. She lets herself go without any worry at all, and she allows herself to take risks. I’m afraid to wonder what she’ll be like in a few years because what if she’s different? What if she grows up into being a person that no longer takes challenges, and what if she forgets that pure innocence that makes her so real? I hope so much that she doesn’t forget the beauty of childhood.

            What happens when people get older? I’ve completely overlooked my childhood and honestly, I forget what it was like to run around in diapers without a care in the world. Maybe I’m being too “old soul,” but I really haven’t a clue what it was like. Now in my life I’ve experienced so much and I look at the world in a completely different way then I recall ever doing. Where did my innocence and my thoughtless actions go? Did I just push them aside to be left in the cold, or do people naturally long to grow older and become wiser? I have so many unanswered questions that I feel I should no the answer to, but really…does anyone have answers?

            I’m typing this at 9:34 PM, and at this exact time I sit at my dinner table wondering if Skyy, (my cousin) will ever think like I do, or if she will ever look at the world with eyes that see just as I see.

           

“Child of innocence, I miss your sunny days
We joyously frolicked in extended plays
Ever since you've left the scene
The streets are lonely, dark and mean

Child of innocence, return to me now
With your simple smile show them how
This world once again can respond to your glance
And heartbeats flutter to the rhythm of your dance

Child of innocence, your elegance, your beauty
Beckons me now beyond the call of duty
Come fly with me far and above
Over the mountains in the land of love

Child of innocence, messenger of joy
You've touched my heart without a ploy
My soul is ablaze with a flagrant fire
To change the world is my deepest desire.”
~Heather Stephens

            I long to change the world and to live with that pure innocence of a child but still to be wise and mature. “Child of innocence, return to me now. With your simple smile show them how. This world once again can respond to your glance. And heartbeats flutter to the rhythm of your dance.” I’ve comprehended this quote as best as I can, and I’ve come across a message that I disregarded when first reading the poem. That quote means that when you’re a child you simply live and you don’t need the materialistic items we strive for today. When you’re a child people follow you in wonder. As an adult, perform like a child, or you will forever see the world as an un-opened book. 

Blog #7 Music Has Shaped Me; Music Has Made Me Real


In everyone’s life there comes a time when they have to put aside the bad times and find something to make them happy. In my life, that beautiful something came to me already, and it’s called music. Music has shaped me; music has made me real. I don’t think that I would be able to express any of my feelings if I didn’t have the music to express them for me. It’s easy for me to be myself because I have the lyrics and melody that I can relate to and feel connected with.

There’s one song in particular that when I first listened to it I was immediately in love. The song is Someday by The Strokes. Normally the music I would say I relate to is romantic and just downright pathetic, but this song means more than that. The song ultimately means that he, (the singer), needs to slow down his life and remember the days when he was happy. It also means that he wants to turn the tables and try harder to be okay with himself. The line in the song I think sticks out for me the most is, “When we was young, oh man, did we have fun. Always, always. Promises, they break before they’re made. Sometimes, sometimes.” The reasons I think I connect with this song so much is because on occasion I forget to remember when I was a little girl, and sometimes I forget to be thankful for my family and friends. This song makes me reflect back and think about what it was like to be little, thoughtless, and excited all the time.

Music has allowed me the once in a lifetime opportunity to live forever. When I listen to music, I’m lifted up and turned into a completely different person. There are songs that make me sad, but then again, life is about feeling things, and sadness just happens to be one of those emotions you can’t avoid! I also listen to a lot of happy songs, and one of them is, Do You Realize by The Flaming Lips. I absolutely adore this song because it’s so perfect when you need a lift up or a kick down. There aren’t enough words to describe how this song makes me feel or what the song even means. But, I do know that the lines that mean the most to me are, “Do you realize- that you have the most beautiful face? Do you realize- we’re floating in space? Do you realize- that happiness makes you cry? Do you realize- that everyone you know will someday die? And instead of saying all of your goodbyes- let them know. You realize that life goes fast. It’s hard to make the good things last.” Those lyrics are words that I live by because they are completely true. Everyone needs to realize that they’re beautiful and beauty is not only on the outside but also can be reflected on the inside. People need to understand that death isn’t something you should be afraid of, but instead should be looked at as freedom for those who have lived their life as much as they can because “life goes fast…and… it’s hard to make the good things last.” I think that everyone should say how he or she feels. So don’t say goodbye; instead, say that you will meet again someday. The world is a messy place, but music gives me the ability to clean it all up. 


Thursday, January 12, 2012

Blog #6 When the World Knocks You Down...Stand.

In reality no situation is perfect. There is not one person in the world who has a silver platter handed to them. In reality...at any time that once "perfect" moment could shatter and break into a million pieces before you even blink your eyes. I don't mean to sound depressing, or depressed, because I'm neither! I'm a particularly happy person who just happens to know a lot about messing up. Everyone messes up, and a lot of times when people make mistakes it can be hard to fix them. In the past I've hurt people I love, been the puppet master to people's hearts, and crossed lines I knew I should not  have. It's not easy to admit that you're wrong but the one thing you can do is admit that you're sorry. In my mind, I've always felt like my mistakes can't be forgiven because if someone ever did those things to me, I'd never have the guts to forgive and forget. But, I'm often flabbergasted by how compassionate and accepting of the truth people are.
The world has knocked me down plenty of times and I've always seemed to slowly but surely make my way back above water. Of course, with problems comes responsibility. If you hurt someone, it's your job to make it right again, because in the end "you get what you give." My advice to those who are in peril, and in need of a way to fix their situation is to never lose hope. Referring back to my own regrets, there were times when I felt like if I didn't make something right or if I didn't make a person love me again like they once did, that I would regret that for the rest of my life. Grudges are hard to hold on people that you've grown so close with. Even the harshest of people have a hard time forgetting their loyalty to someone. You have to be honest and say absolutely EVERYTHING that you feel. Personally, I've never held back in any situation even if it would be in my favor to do so. The reason is because if you don't say how you feel then that person will never know.
I believe that if you've been pushed down, hurt, torn apart, or if you feel like all of your tears will soon run out, you need to stand up. The first step is to stand up, because once you're up you can finally learn to walk forward. Even if the world seems to close and push you further and further towards the ground...keep walking forward. 

This is a poem about being strong, and doing what you believe in.

There is inside you
all of the potential
to be whatever you want to be,
all of the energy
to do whatever you want to do.
Imagine yourself as you would like to be,
doing what you want to do,
and each day, take one step
towards your dream.
And though at times it may seem too
difficult to continue,
hold on to your dream.
One morning you will awake to find
that you are the person you dreamed of,
doing what you wanted to do,
simply because you had the courage
to believe in your potential
and to hold on to your dream.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Blog #5 Dare To Be Vintage


I have become obsessed with everything vintage, and from the 1920s or 1930s. My inspiration in those time periods varies from photography, painting, poetry, literature, or anything you could possibly think of. Back in the 1920's, great writers (for example, Hemmingway) lived and inspired people through what they had to say. People believed in what was true and brought it to their culture in order to show people the truth and what truly matters. Photography, in particular, has made me discover so many things about life. I've learned the views of others as well as my personal views. 
In the picture on the left, Sam is holding a guitar, wearing a striped shirt, and my goal was to make him look as if he was connecting with his guitar. Music was one of the many things I've found most intriguing about older time periods. When most people think of vintage they think of hippies, peace signs, and tie-dye. Well, not me. When I think of vintage the first thing that comes to my mind is a puffy white dress dragging on the floor elegantly, and a girl wearing a feather in her hair with red lipstick and a cigar in her mouth. If you haven't already guessed, this is my idea of the 1920s. Another thing I think of is Paris. Paris is the one place I would love to live most. It's beautiful, romantic, and in a word...poetic. Back in the 1920s or 30s it must've been wonderful to be able to see so much, but I bet back then the people took it for granted. 
The picture on the right was especially hard for me. I had to find a way to make people think VINTAGE but believe MODERN. I used a washing machine because that was the one thing I could think of that I find I take for granted the most. It's not easy for me to modernize my pictures and make them look as if they are representing the present as opposed to the past. The picture is of me using my washing machine. A washing machine is a modern day tool that people use to wash their clothes, and wasn't something that people in 1920s had. 
The reason this entry is called "Dare To Be Vintage" is because I try so hard to believe that this is not the correct time period for me. I truly do belong in a time period that took place a long time before me, and even though some may say that isn’t true, not once have I ever tried to be anything but vintage.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Blog #4 Wild vs Sophisticated


I live my life only to be different. The idea of being average or ordinary is probably my worst fear. I don't know for sure, but I hope that if you asked people they would say I'm creative and unique. It's difficult for me to understand why people would want to be just like everyone else. I couldn't imagine wanting to live any longer if someone perceived me as, "just another girl that acts the same as everyone else does." I wouldn't say I'm wild, but I would say I'm passionate about life. My passion for being creative and being everything I wish I could be, has pushed me so far through my life.
Recently, at my George School and Pennington interviews people have asked me what I can bring to their schools. The only answer I could come up with was that no matter what, I will always support my friends into being exactly whom they are, not to hold anything back, and that self-reflection is the key to knowing who you are. 
My pictures represent my two sides. During every day life I find myself wanting to break free from the social norms, and escape the cage I like to call, "school." The picture of me in the tiger costume (also referred to as my Halloween Costume) represents my wild side and the side of me that is dying to break free. It shows outrage, and beams every ounce of self-reflection I could come up with. The other side of the picture is my more sophisticated look. My curls, red lipstick, and shirt that is much more mature in comparison to the tiger snuggy, all show the side of me that holds things back. I have trouble showing my feelings sometimes, and that picture shows exactly what it's like. In the photo I'm not smiling or moving at all, and the tension in my face shows my willingness to be FREE.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Blog #3 Mom and Me


My relationship with my mom is different from anyone else's... at least I'd like to think so. My mom is not only my best friend, but she's my hero. It's always been difficult for me to admit or explain my feelings about my mom, but in a brief statement, she's done everything for me and I couldn't be more thankful. She's always been hardworking and sometimes when I used to have to go with my babysitter while she worked in New York, I would feel lonely, but every night when she got home we would talk for hours until finally I had to be forced into sleep.
Mother and daughter relationships are sometimes portrayed as a game of "yes and no," where the daughter fights for more texting minutes, and the mother says no. For my mom and I it's never been that sort of game, in fact it's always been the opposite. As with every family, agreement isn't always in our favor, but we've always made some sort of compromise.
She has always been the mother with the easy-going personality, and I've always been the stubborn one with all the opinions. I tell her absolutely everything even when I try my hardest to hold my feelings back. There have been days when I’ve gotten picked up from school, turned on the music, curled up in a ball and cried, but every time I do that she stands by waiting for my dramatic weep-a-thon to end so she can ask what's going on. After my long Dr. Phil session with her she just holds me there because she knows that in my case, silence is the best medicine.
I love my mom, and I hope she knows that. She's my whole world, but she doesn't know I'm writing so poetically about her, so before she finds out I'm going to explain the pictures.
I put a picture of her and I from a long time ago next to a picture more recent, because I wanted to show proof of how close we've always been.

I LOVE YOU MOM.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Love and Togetherness


Ordinary life is boring, but when you spend it with someone you love it can make you feel like it was never boring at all. One of the definitions of love describes happiness between two people and the ability to show affection towards that "special someone." There have been times when my belief in love has faded, but then I remember the millions of people in love right this second. I don't know of anyone who has said that love is easy, but I’ve always believed that love can easily grow from being happy. Unfortunately I still haven’t exactly figured out what happiness is. I don’t think happiness can be shown just by smiles and laughter, but I do think that being in a relationship and being able to be completely who you are and not question that, is happiness.

The reason I took a picture of holding hands is because hands are my favorite part of the body. I've learned over time that there are key ways to discovering about a person just by looking at their hands and knowing what the certain lines mean. When two hands are entwined into each other it shows a connection between people, which to me, is exactly what love is. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iK9PLdVXK4&feature=related
This link is a Charlie Brown scene about happiness. It's a kids perspective of what happiness is.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Best Friends

          As people grow older they make new friendships, lose old ones, and sometimes are able to keep the friendships they've made along the way. For me, my best friend who I've been best friends with for seven years has always been there for me and I know always will be there. Her name is Gabriella and she has taught me everything. We met during dance classes and ever since have been inseparable. She's always been the sporty, drop-dead-gorgeous, completely flawless girl that everyone has to love because of her undeniably outgoing personality. Then there's always been me, the spunky, goofy, not-so-sporty girl. Together we're a team. We've always been able to finish each other’s sentences and know exactly what we're both thinking. One minute with each other and already we've burst into laughter. It hasn't always been easy to be completely in love with the same best friend your whole life, but sometimes a rocky mountain is the most fun to climb.
          The reason I think that my friendship with Gabby fits into the topic of "Fitting Into Someone Else's Shoes" is because we're so different, but we still love each other. For some people, friendships are about how much you have in common, but for me and Gabby it's different. We don't have everything in common, but at the end of the day I know she will always be my best friend and if anything will be the only one I turn to for help with my lacking soccer skills.